I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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