My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
