ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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