I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
