great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
