He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
