every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
