I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
