It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
