So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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