just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
