none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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