No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
