So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
