I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
