I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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