turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
