After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
