I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
