He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
