Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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