Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
