I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
