can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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