ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
