Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
