So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
