the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
