im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
