I'm laying in your front yard are you home
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
