Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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