You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
