It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
