i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
