Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
