Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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