Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
