Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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