Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
