There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
