ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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