i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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