id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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