1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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