Already got asked if we're dating
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
