I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
