I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
