guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A+ Viking dick
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
