So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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