you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
