Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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